The United Nations has been forced to step in, invoking the Geneva Convention, after the full details of the jail sentence for Carl “Pretty Boy” Williams were revealed yesterday.
Williams was sentenced to 35 years’ hard labour on Monday, for his role as the alleged and now convicted co-ordinator of several Melbourne gangland killings.
But UN secretary general Boutros-Boutros Annan was horrified when the definition of “hard labour” was revealed.
Williams, a Richmond supporter, will be forced to watch a replay of Sunday night’s 157-point loss to Geelong three times a day as part of his sentence.
He will also be forced to sit through other Tiger floggings from his life time, including the day Jason Dunstall kicked 17 goals at Waverley against Richmond, and pretty much any game where Gary Ablett Snr kicked 10 goals or more in the late 80s and early 90s.
A final, truly horrifying component of Williams’ “hard labour” involves having to sit through fortnightly personal visits by senior Richmond coach Terry Wallace, football manager Greg Miller and club president Gary March, where they will patiently explain to the convict how the club’s youth policy is on track and why Williams, like all Tiger fans, should trust and have faith in the current administration and football department.
“That is just too cruel,” a United Nations spokeskofi told thebladder.com. “I mean, Jesus … string the guy up. Hang him high. Cut off his hands for stealing. But this is too much. To make him sit through Sunday’s game over and over again, and to endure the spin from the coach and co, it’s just inhumane. It’s wrong. It’s cruel. It’s torture.”
Williams’ family, Tiger members for two decades, couldn’t contain their horror at their son’s sentence.
“As Richmond fans, haven’t we suffered enough?” his father, “Slightly Less Pretty Boy” Williams, told thebladder.com.
“Carl was smirking in court when the initial sentence was delivered because he realised he’d be out of jail just in time for this fabled Richmond rebuild to blossom into genuine results, in about 2042.
“He had no idea he’d be taking the current Tiger team behind bars with him as well. No man deserves that.”
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UN steps in after Williams cops “Tiger term”
